Okay, before I start a rant, I want to show you all a picture of me when I was younger and then a picture of Jake with kind of the same expression. I never realized how much we look alike. Maybe I'm just crazy but if you've seen his looks, you will recognize the
resemblance.
Okay, moving on.
So lately, things in my life have got me thinking about "life choices". That's Jimmy's term right there. Things that happen in your life are "life choices" and if you are not happy with your life choices, you either need to fix it or deal with the consequences of those choices.
Now I don't know if my choices are now starting to affect me or if my busy schedule is running me down and getting my emotions a little high or what but I have been debating what to do with different aspects of my life. Burnt out a little, I'd say.
One thing is relationships with others. If I should keep certain people in my life or not. At what point should I say enough is enough? Does the length of the friendship matter? Can relationships really last once priorities and each other's lives have evolved?
I've never ever been one to stand up for myself in the sense that I tell someone when my feelings get hurt or I think they are being ridiculous or rude, etc. I usually just sit there and chew on the matter, thinking of what I can and should say. Then after some time I start chewing on the fact that I never said anything and know I never will. So realistically, if I'm not expressing myself to someone, is it ideal to just "drop" that person from your life because there are some hurt feelings or maybe drama? In some circumstances, people will forever be in my life. But maybe distancing myself is an okay idea. But will I need to explain myself? Geeez! Decisions, decisions... life choices!
Another thing on my mind is our living arrangement. Most people who know me know that I really would love to move out of Vegas. Where too? I don't know. But if we are going to stay in this crap town, I would like a slightly larger home. Especially if we have another baby any time soon. The crime in Vegas has me seriously scared. And the school system is not a place I want my kids going too. I really don't want to hear anything about that comment either. I know I went to school here and turned out "fine" but as a parent, I don't want my kids in this education system. There are definitely a couple people I would hate to leave if we moved. And I sure hope they know who they are. So hopefully some sort of opportunity will present itself to us or some news will head our way, so we can know what the future holds.
I told Jimmy the other night after getting new tires on the truck because I got a flat tire and then a million other problems that keep coming up, that I dislike being an adult. I want to be Jake's age! No bills, no worries, a snuggle and kiss whenever you want it from your mom or dad who you know will always be there. At that age you don't know or understand life enough to be worried or have stresses on if certain people should be in your life or where you want to live.
But what can I say? Life is HARD, amazing, fun, scary, a gift, annoying, stressful, adventurous and so much more. Haha.
